In summary, dating a shy guy means a different dynamic, one in which you will be playing more of a leadership role.
If you decide you are, double check he is a shy guy not just a disinterested guy , trust your instincts, then go after him! While they may be a little harder to court, a good relationship with a quality shy guy can be one of the most rewarding, fulfilling, and loving experiences out there. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. So how do you go about dating a shy guy?
Make sure he is a shy guy. Stumbles on his words or seems a little awkward around you. Nice to virtually everyone who talks to him. Has no problem talking to you — just seems bored or disinterested when he does.
Has hit you up for sex — or — you could easily imagine him doing so. His friends or others have mentioned nothing. With a truly shy guy, this no longer applies. See how you feel and how he responds.
Common questions I get relating to this advice: What if he never comes out of his shell? More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! Intellectual conversations, unlimited sweet romantic moments, cute expressions and honest body language — dating a shy guy is a blissful, enriching and pleasurable experience once a woman learns how to make him comfortable with her.
Even if you manage to get a shy guy to like you and score a date with him, don't expect him to take the lead by making all the plans. A shy guy will lean on you and ask you where you would prefer to go as opposed to an extrovert who will suggest a great place for a date. Take the initiative and suggest a place if you have something in mind. Feel free to give him suggestions about quirky date ideas because this is your chance to do something really romantic and interesting at the same time with a guy who is likely to be intellectually inclined.
Instead of telling you the time at which he will pick you up from your doorstep, a shy guy could ask you whether you want to be picked up or you want to meet somewhere in the middle. A guy who is an introvert may even look at it as being practical and logical, as opposed to being a gentleman and offering to pick you up.
Don't take this the wrong way. A shy guy just isn't wired that way. Instead, suggest to him that he can pick you up if he likes. This will put him to ease because he may not be too comfortable being upfront about coming to your house to pick you up. It is a good idea to give your shy guy a confidence booster before you actually go on the date. This will help in removing the nervous energy and reduce the awkwardness.
For example, you can just send him a text message that you are really looking forward for the date. Or you could send him a private message on Facebook to show your excitement for the date. Guys who are shy and introverts are not really the best at keeping up with social anxiety. You may be excited at snapping up a date with the cute guy but remember that he may not fancy the idea of five other people knowing about your date.
It will put undue pressure on him. Avoid announcing your dating plans on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking platform. Any unnecessary comments may even put the shy guy off from going on the date. You would generally want to look your prettiest and hottest when you go out on a date with a guy.
But that is not the best thing to do when you are going on a date with a guy. He may be intimated by how gorgeous you look. This will make him feel extremely nervous and jittery. A shy guy will not be able to handle the pressure of sitting with a drop-dead gorgeous girl. Avoid short skirts, hot pants, tops with plunging necklines or barely there outfits.
Put him to ease by wearing jeans and t-shirt on your first date or jeans and a nice top if you want to look a tad more formal. You can instantly put a shy guy to ease by giving him a compliment. Stroke his ego and don't mince your words as you compliment him on his looks or personality. Don't play the waiting game to see if he compliments you first. A shy guy may be bowled over by how beautiful you look but he may just not have the courage to say it. He will open up slowly once you start.
You will have to shoulder the responsibility of starting conversations with a shy and introvert guy on your first date. Men who are shy generally have a lot of things in their mind but don't know how to express themselves to women easily. You will have to wait until your second date or till the time you develop a certain level of comfort with him. You will be amazed at the variety and depth of conversations that you can have with a shy guy once you get him to open up to you.
A shy guy will not even flirt with you because he could be nervous about offending you. He is likely to be afraid and will not want to take the risk of being the first one to start flirting.
The solution to this deadlock is simpler than you think. Ask him questions that subtly force him to flirt with you. Below are a few examples. Questions like these will make him a shy guy feel more comfortable about flirting with you on a date. He will no longer have to take the risk of being the first one to say something playful. Make a shy guy comfortable with you on a personal level. Shy and introvert guys are generally truthful, non-manipulative, intellectual, cute, romantic and very well behaved.
They have everything going for them except an ability to have their way with words.
Remember that a shy guy may not be used to talking about personal stuff with a girl. If you really think that he is worth building a meaningful relationship with, take the platform of your conversation to a personal level by sharing stuff that he generally does not expect other girls to say to him.
Here are a few examples of how you can build verbal intimacy. It may be common for you to put your hand on a guy's thigh as you laugh away at his jokes. But doing this with a shy guy could really freak him out. It can make him nervous and moves like these can give him wrong signals. So stay away from getting touchy feely on the first date unless you strike an exceptional bond with him straight away. Observe some of his body language signs of attraction and use your hands once you feel that the both of you are comfortable with each other. Put your hand on his shoulder, lean on to him in a friendly way while waiting for cab, give him a high five, tug his cheeks in a playful manner or hug him after your date.
Hold on to your hug for half a few seconds longer than usual so that he feels comfortable with the physical closeness. Lean in slightly to give him a hint. How should I kiss her?